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What Would (and Should) You Do?

What Would (and Should) You Do?

Have you ever thought, “What would I do if my child turned out to be gay?” As a gay man, I’d like to offer a little advice to help you answer that question.

Children are ALWAYS Listening

You love your children unconditionally, correct? Then, no matter what, you are still going to love them. Supporting them and their lifestyle may be difficult for you, we will get to that in a moment. The main piece of advice I want to offer is this; never, under any circumstances should you express prejudice in front of your children. Especially if you have any suspicion that a child of yours may be gay.

All parents want to feel that their children will come to speak to them about anything no matter what. This is why it is so crucial that you not express prejudice in front of your children. If you speak badly about gays or lesbians, what is the likelihood that your child will come speak to you about feelings they might be having? You should also not expect your children to come to you first. And under no circumstances confront them about any suspicions you might have about their sexuality. They will come to you their own way, provided they feel comfortable talking to you about it.

Love Above All Else

pflagNow, let’s get back to the support factor if your child “comes out”. Depending on your own beliefs, being there for your child and supporting them could be difficult for you. Always remember these are your children no matter what. Also remember being gay is hard enough, don’t make it worse. If you have a hard time with your children’s lifestyle, it is not their problem, it is your problem.

If you are having an issue with a child being gay, I strongly recommend you find a support group. Local resources include the GLSEN Greater Huntsville, Care Services Inc., and the local PFLAG group. If you aren’t comfortable with either of those options, find a friend you trust to speak to about it.

See Also

Being gay is difficult. Having to stress about how our own parents feel about us should never be an issue.

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Ty Fauscett is originally from North Carolina and moved to Alabama in 2001. He loves it here and does not plan on living anywhere else. He recently purchased Partners Bar & Grill, and that takes up almost all of his free time, but for the Huntsville gay community, he believes it is worth every second. When not busy he enjoys watching a movie, cookouts in the summertime, camping, and fishing.


View Comments (6)
  • Thank you so much for sharing this. My son is only 4, so I have no idea if he will be straight or gay. I don’t care. I love him. It is so wonderful to see this being talked about & to know that there is support out there. Thank you!

  • Thank you! I have a boy and girl and we teach love! So, whomever they love, it will be celebrated. We have hetero, bi, and gay friends and we have never differentiated between those folks at all. All my children see is love. It makes me super sad to think any family would promote anything different.

  • Excellent words of wisdom! As a mom of two boys the thought has certainly crossed my mind. As long as they are happy and find someone who loves them, it makes no difference to me what gender, race, or religion that person is. Kudos to you for working to promote acceptance and equality for the GLBT community!

  • Thank you, thank you, thank you! I taught high school for many years and watched students struggle with coming out. Most didn’t have the courage to do so in high school because of the way their peers treated gay people and/or because of the way their parents felt about gay people. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to struggle with emotions you have absolutely no control over knowing that so many people you cared about didn’t support you. It is no wonder the suicide rate among gay teens is so high.

  • Thank you for this piece.

    Support for teens is critical. Puberty is hard enough straight.

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