First off, let me congratulate you on having a new bundle of joy in your life in a few months. You are at the right place. We even have an entire Pregnancy Guide for you and the mom-to-be. What no one mentions is all he weird things people will say to you now that you’re pregnant. So now you can send them this primer on exactly what not to say to a pregnant woman.
So it doesn’t matter if you are the friend, the spouse, the grandparent or the random person in the grocery store – these are all for you.
Don’t Say – “You Look Tired!”
This is especially true if the woman is in the first or third trimester. A lot is happening in her body and she is worn slap out. Naps are her best friend along with that pillow she snuggles with between her legs!
Don’t Say – “What Do You Want to Eat?”
The answer is YES 98% of the time. Just go ahead and have some choices picked out. She may have a craving but if she doesn’t then just give her some choices. Make it easy and simple. And snappy. Hanger is a real threat when it comes to pregnant ladies. Stay patient and grab the grub! Now the other two percent don’t want to eat anything because they are just going to throw it up. What’s the point? Tip: Preggo Pops, Hard Candy, Ginger Ale and Crackers are good to have on hand.
Don’t Say – “Can I Touch Your Belly?”
If you scratch it… maybe that’s OK. Listen, at the point when belly is big enough to be touched, it’s also itchy as all get out. So unless you’re bringing some lotion to help with that, just stay away. Let the mom invite you into her personal bubble.
Don’t Say – “You Look So Cute!”
Quit trying to make cute happen. It’s never going to happen. This lady is a SHERO. A beautiful goddess creating a human being inside of her. You look beautiful works so much better. Cute is for bunnies and she feels more akin to a humpback whale at the moment. The first time the regular pants don’t fit will be a mini-meltdown. A well placed I love you and some foot rubs will help make it better.
Don’t Say – “What Will it Be?”
Some women will have no qualms about answering this question, but some just want a healthy baby for real. That’s not a line the pregnant lady is feeding you. She just wants the best for her future child. And if there is no gender reveal, just be surprised and give diapers, wipes, and gift cards for their shower. You may also want to go untraditional and do a meal service or even a maid!
Don’t Say – Any Typical Parenting Advice
Sleep when the baby sleeps. Get ready for you lift to change! These are not things a pregnant person hasn’t already heard 800 times. If you are a fellow mom or want to get real with them, say something like, “FOR REAL take that stool softener after giving birth because the first BM is scary.” Give them your (good not scary) experiences but don’t push them to parent a certain way. Moms are already terrified. As soon as they have the baby, the little control they had is gone. Reach out once the baby is here with something every 3-5 days by text saying, “I know you may be busy but I am thinking about you and the baby. How are you all doing?”
Don’t Say – “You have Preggo Brain.”
The pregnant lady is doing an awful lot of work internally. Some of that brain power has to go to remembering not to eat sushi or eat deli meat or Oh-my-goodness-a-baby-is-going-to-come-out-of-my-body-and-I-will-have-to-care-for-it-is-the-nursey-done-what-all-do-I-even-need-is-there-a-reason-I-am-crying-I-came-into-the-kitchen-for-something-but-now-I-need-to-throw-up-when-will-this-trimester-end… etc etc etc. Buy her a calendar or make sure she puts appointments and dates into her phone.
Don’t Say – “You have to Pee Again???”
Yes. She does. There is literally something on her bladder kicking around. The amount of toilet paper you will need should be bought at Costco or Sam’s Club. Be kind and don’t make her laugh too hard. Also if you are taking a trip, be cognizant that your bladder may be better than hers so backroads aren’t your friends.
Don’t Say – “It Must Be the Hormones.”
If she is crying or upset or mad or all of the above. For the love of cheesecake, don’t blame it on the hormones. Is it the hormones? Probably, but blaming them is going to make her feel even worse. The best thing I can tell you to say is, “That Sucks. Do you want to talk about it?”
What did we miss? Let us know and we can make a part two!
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Beth Ridgeway lives in Madison with her husband, daughter, and toy poodle. She works as the Social Media Specialist at the Huntsville/Madison County Convention & Visitors Bureau. When she’s not volunteering or working, you can find her binge watching Netflix, reading, or rehearsing improv.