Pregnancy: 10 Years Later
My journey into motherhood began at Thanksgiving, ten years ago. We were living in a new state with new jobs a thousand miles from family and I desperately wanted to be a mom.[sws_pullquote_right]For a long time we thought maybe our baby days were over.
Even though I had always wanted three kids, I was abundantly happy with my boys. [/sws_pullquote_right] Seeing those two lines on the stick made my heart leap with excitement and my stomach do nervous somersaults. My sweet baby James arrived the following July and brought wonder and joy to our lives like we’d never known before. Three years later in another new state with my husband in another new job, we welcomed our second baby boy, Owen.
For a long time we thought maybe our baby days were over. Before Owen was even a year old I had a health scare that put any thought of a third child on the back burner. Even though I had always wanted three kids, I was abundantly happy with my boys. Seeing them together and their amazing bond as brothers made my life feel full. I could make peace with the thought of not being able to have a third child, because how could I want more when I already had all of this? I still tear up when I see them now, in 4th grade and kindergarten, walking out of school holding hands.
Last winter, sitting in my OB/GYN’s office, I nervously voiced what was still in my heart. I wanted to try for a third baby. Was I too old? Was this crazy? I’d just gotten the all clear on my past health issues with a beautifully clean CT scan.
She replied exactly what I needed to hear: to go for it. That THIS was my window. I’m not going to lie, I became that crazy woman for a few months. Peeing on sticks way too early and telling my husband he could NOT go on business travel during THAT week. Settle down, girl.
Baby Girl’s Fan Club
In mid-April I met my husband for a lunch date and presented him with a tiny pair of crochet baby booties. This was happening! He’ll turn 40 in November and have a daughter in December – OK, we may actually be a little old for the sleepless nights. The timing of our big news felt perfect. My dad was critically ill in May and I told him about the pregnancy right before a life-changing surgery. I needed him to fight harder to be here and get to know this new grandbaby. I surprised my mom on her 70th birthday with a framed ultrasound picture of the third baby she had always hoped we would have. I’m savoring every moment of this experience.
The most exciting part of this pregnancy is seeing how involved my boys have gotten. This little girl has her big brothers wrapped around her finger from the womb. My belly has never gotten so many pats and hugs. They talk to her daily; they want to read the weekly updates on fetal development and see pictures of what she looks like at each stage. They’re disappointed when my OB checkups are during school hours because they love to come along and listen to their baby sister’s heartbeat. It’s truly a family affair this time around.
Opinions Are Like… You Know
It’s funny how brazen people can be about getting into your business. I’ve had multiple people who know the ages of my boys stop themselves mid-congratulations to ask if this was planned or not. I had worried that being a decade older this time would be a challenge. Yes, I was sicker and more tired, and the “advanced maternal age” label is a little scary, but I feel like my age works to my advantage in some ways.
If there’s one thing that motherhood has taught me, it’s to not worry about other people’s opinions. I take their endless unsolicited advice with a grain of salt…or maybe one of those giant salt licks from the pet store. I have a confidence in my body, my marriage, and my parenting skills that I didn’t have as a first time mom. I won’t question every decision I make this time. I won’t be induced if it isn’t medically necessary. I don’t need to hear ad nauseum about the crib I should be buying. We co-sleep, because it works for us. I’ve got this; you do you and let me do me.
Oh, and if you see anything cute, ruffled, sparkly, or pink on sale, holler at me. Shopping for girl clothes is RIDICULOUS!
The mom of three rambunctious redheads, Meg Nester is a Chicago area native and wannabe crafter extraordinaire. When she’s not tending to her boys (and baby girl) or training for triathlons, you can find her in the garage wielding her beloved power tools or firing up a kiln full of enamel jewelry.
I’m SO excited for you, Meg!
What a wonderful story, and we are thrilled to be able to be part of the excitement. Can’t wait to welcome that precious baby girl into the family. So special for you to be able to have a little girl, now, and for me to have a second granddaughter along with those 4 grandsons. I am so lucky!
This is so beautifully written, Meg! I can feel your excitement and awe at this new life you will be welcoming into your family. We can’t wait to hear more about her. She is so lucky to be born into your loving family. Those little boys will be wonderful brothers!
Love the characterization of being “in your window” of fertility. And isn’t the view lovely!
Great writing, Meg. See you soon.
Old Aunty Chris
I applaud your confidence. Keep it up, because there’s nothing better for kids than a confident mother!
What a great article! This speaks to me. I, too, am of advance maternal age (I’ll be 40 in September) and am expecting a baby girl at the end of July. My older 2- both boys – are 9 and 6. Everyone is excited about this baby girl!
Thank you, Abigail! Congratulations on your baby girl! Your boys will have such fun with her! My baby is now 18 months old and has brought us immeasurable joy.
Although we’d met a few times in the past, I’ve gotten to know you while raising the third ginger. This brought tears. And maybe a little inspiration but that’s still on the fence. Your entire family is perfectly precious! I so enjoyed meeting your mom recently. Thank you for all you do in our community!