Elf On a Shelf & Other Christmas Poems By Dad

Christmas is Here

Reds and greens
Float by my car;
Nativity scenes,
Bethlehem’s Star.
Carols sung
By joyful voices,
Stockings hung,
Celebrations boist’rous.
Egg nog flows,
Cookies bake,
Christmas shows,
And children wake;
When Santa’s done
With deliveries,
It’s time for fun
And revelries.
It is the season
To be of good cheer
For no greater reason
Than Christmas is here.

Holiday Haiku

I bought them a nice gift,
But all they really wanted
Was the gosh darn box.

Elf on the Shelf

She has to move every frigging night
And keep the children in her sight,
But I’ll be darned if I remember
To do this every day of December,
And if I’m being honest, I forget,
Who introduced her, but I regret,
Keeping it up for all these years,
And though it gives my children cheer
I wish just once she’d just not show,
Perhaps she got stuck in the snow,
Or stuck to another child’s shelf.
I’ve had enough of this silly elf.


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Hannaiku

Eight candles are lit
Over eight beautiful nights:
This is Hannukah.

Dashing Through My Mind

“Jingle Bells,” my kids
Sing repeatedly, nonstop,
Driving me insane.


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Sugar Plums

My kids say they’re nice,
But I’m sure Santa sees they’re
Full of sugar plums.


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That Elf Again

The elf sits up high
Judging all, as always I
Forget to move him.

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