“Wait, where’s Bryan?”
I went to an audition last night, and I haven’t seen… well, most anybody since I had the baby three months ago. I kept getting questions about where Bryan was. “He’s home with the kids,” I’d say.
“Oh, babysitting,” they’d respond.
Now, to be fair, Bryan and I used to audition together. And also, it was not uncommon that we’d both be there with one or both boys. (They like sitting through theatre stuff.)
“Nope,” I’d say. “He’s such a fantastic father. You should see him, juggling the boys. He’s just an amazing dad.”
I mean that.
I work a difficult and unpredictable job. My hours often vary from 8-14 hours on any given day, usually with little notice. He’s always offered to take care of drop-off/pick-up, without any guilt trips. In fact, it’s usually one or two text messages (usually to tell me he’s getting Tiny and Connie, which is what Autocorrect believes our children are named), and it’s just done. He takes care of homework, snack, bottles, and everything. Sometimes, it’s dinner, bath, and bed before I even get home. And you know? The boys need to see that. They need to see what a good partnership really means.
When I was reading Lean In, it kept talking about how you have to ensure that you have a true partnership at home. The men should take care of some of the housework, the book coaches. They need to parent as well.
Is this really something worthy of publication? Like, this isn’t something all marriages already practice?
Now, don’t get me wrong. We still have our little eye-rolls at eachother. I leave the bathroom light on when I’m getting ready before dawn, and that bothers him. His idea of “cleaning the kitchen” is putting dishes into soak (until I can just no longer stand looking at them). He calls me a clothes hoarder; I do all of the laundry for all three of the boys. But these are SO SMALL in the grand scheme of things.
The boys see two people, madly in love. Who really enjoy each other’s company. They see a father who is actively involved in his kids, his house, and his job. They see a father who supports their mother in her career. (And they see a mother free to pursue a career!)
At the audition, someone asked me if I was happy. Bryan asks me this all the time, too… sometimes in jest, but sometimes with sincerity.
In truth, I could not have found a better partner than I found at that Waffle House nine years ago.
And I’ll give credit where credit is due.