The Importance of Childhood Friendships
Last December my seven-year-old son’s best friend moved to Dallas. Cooper and Nolan were inseparable. They lived next door to each other, they were in the same class in school, and they played together every afternoon. They were a good match, Nolan was a calming influence on my mercurial son, and Cooper was an outgoing match for his shy friend.
It has been a tough spring for Cooper. Nolan was his first best friend, and I suppose I should be happy that he did not immediately go out and find a new one. But it is hard to see your child sad. And watching him make that solitary trek home from school– when just a few months ago he would have burst out of the school gate, giggling and commiserating with his friend– hurts my heart.
Cooper and Nolan have led me to do some thinking about my own best friend. Like the boys, we also met in the first grade, which would mean that we have been friends now for……okay, Olivia is giving me the side-eye, let’s just say, we have been friends for many decades years.
I envisioned Cooper and Nolan’s friendship to be the same as ours—some years closer than others, sometimes distracted with school, activities, (and the opposite sex), but never wavering. And with the technology available today, maybe it still can be. Our busy lives and two hour distance keeps Olivia and I from seeing each other often, but we stay in constant contact through texting and tweeting and emailing and facebooking. So much so that when she was incommunicado last week while out of the country, I was a tad bereft.
This summer for Cooper’s birthday, we are traveling to Texas to visit his bestie. Friendships like theirs do not come around often and who knows, maybe Cooper and Nolan will be college roommates! Wouldn’t that be amazing? Maybe thirty years from now they will be still be important people in each other’s lives, like Liv and I are. I hope so.
May 21, 2012 @ 08:01:20
Sweet story
May 22, 2012 @ 12:38:23
Thank you so much!
May 21, 2012 @ 08:53:18
Sweet story Katie! This reminds me of Dylan and his best friend Case….they met when Case and his family moved into the house right behind us when we lived in Florida, and were instantly inseparable! Mike even put in a gate at the back of our property that adjoined our yards so they could easily go back and forth! When we moved to Madison, they were heartbroken, but we make an effort for them to spend as much time as possible together with beach trips and Case coming to visit us for sometimes weeks on end during the summer!! Even after 5 years of being in two different states they are still thick as thieves and like brothers!
May 22, 2012 @ 12:39:46
That gives me hope, Leslie! I think that those special friendships are hard to come by, and I hope Cooper and Nolan can be as close as Dylan and Case.
May 21, 2012 @ 08:55:23
We just moved to Huntsville from NC and I’m watching my 11 year old daughter go through the same thing. It’s heartbreaking, but will be a good life lesson on putting in the work to keep worthwhile relationships intact. They talk or skype almost everyday, write letters, emails, etc. I know that will wane over time, but I know that their friendship can last if they want it to and if they put in the effort. Even still, it’s not the same as being physically there. It’s hard to see your baby hurting…
May 22, 2012 @ 12:42:12
Yes, it is, Erica. I keep telling myself that this is a good life lesson for Coop. I am such a planner–I had envisioned them being besties for all of their school years.
On a funny note, listening to two seven-year-old boys talk on the phone is both humorous and exhausting!
May 21, 2012 @ 19:13:32
How bittersweet growing up is! I hope that Coop and Nolan stay just as close as we have….I am sorry that he is missing his friend. I can’t wait til we get to visit again!
May 22, 2012 @ 12:42:38
Color Run is going to be a hoot!
May 22, 2012 @ 21:18:41
Great article Katie!!!
You are definitely right about Cooper and Nolan. When we first moved here, Nolan told everyone about his best friend Cooper from Alabama. He even wrote a story about Cooper and him and read it to his class.
Nolan is so excited about Cooper visiting this summer. He is making plans for his weekend with his bestie:-)
FYI: Nolan has a new desk and a picture frame of Cooper and him is right on top. He is definitely treasuring his friendship with Cooper.
May 23, 2012 @ 14:16:21
Thank you, Anthony! I showed Cooper your comment and he grinned from ear to ear.
Miss you guys, but we will see you soon!